I DON’T KNOW I SAID
Matthew Savoca. Publishing Genius
Press, $11 trade paperback (200p) ISBN: 978-0988750319
I
Don’t Know I Said is a short novel in a fairly
identifiable form: something happens that shakes a couple’s world and now the
couple must determine if they want to stay in that world or move on.
It all begins when Carolina receives
monetary compensation for a car accident, and she and Arthur find themselves
with the unusual luxury to put life on hold. Without the need to work, they
travel. They visit family. They have sex. They have more sex. They watch
television. But all the while there’s a disquieting undercurrent to all that
they do, as the luxury to live aimlessly only forces them to find direction
again—both in their individual lives and in their relationship.
The novel is a quick read that at
times feels unnecessarily quickened. But the pervasive and seemingly humdrum dialogue
between Arthur and Carolina does more than just advance the characters in space
and time.
“‘Do you think I should cut my
hair?’ Carolina said.
‘I don’t know. If you want to,
yeah.’
‘I was thinking about cutting it
short.’
‘You should cut it weird like with
some strands still very long but the majority much shorter.’
‘Really?’
‘That would be good,’ I said.
‘I don’t know.’
‘You should do it yourself. In the
mirror. I will hold another mirror behind you so you can see everything.’
‘Or you could do it.’
‘No, it’s better to cut your hair
yourself.’
‘What? Why?’
‘I don’t know. It just is.’
Exchanges such as this are typical
between Arthur and Carolina, and in another author’s hands may wind up feeling
only like filler. But Savoca smartly keeps his characters talking in this stark
and playful manner throughout, allowing the reader to fall easily into their
conversations as if a third party. Similarly, there’s a flatness to Arthur’s
descriptive language: “We touched each other and turned the television off and
had sex. In the morning when we woke up, we had sex again and then we ate
breakfast.” But it’s only against the banality of the everyday that the large
questions central to the novel about purpose, motivation,
and existence fully resonate.
Savoca gives voice to a recognizable
cultural apathy in I Don’t Know I Said
and asks a question we’ve all asked—“Now what?” But what sets his question
apart is the expanse of time he allows his characters to lack motivation. Much
the opposite of our often self-imposed fast-paced world, no one’s in this for a
quick fix, and no one’s in a hurry. This novel will get into the heads of everyone
who’s ever not known what comes next—as it reminds us all that it’s OK
sometimes if we don’t have the answer. (April 2013)
Purchase I Don’t Know I Said HERE.
Reviewer bio: Michelle Dove's
fiction appears or is forthcoming in New South, Passages North, Pear Noir!,
Barrelhouse and elsewhere. She lives in Washington, DC.
